Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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