Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
