So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
