mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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