Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
