Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
