theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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