how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
