I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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