I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
