If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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