somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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