rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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