my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
