before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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