Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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