please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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