Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
