I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
