I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
