last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
