then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Randomize
