hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
