how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
