I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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