Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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