ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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