just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize