there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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