so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
