From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
