The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just found puke in my bra..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
