mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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