On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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