I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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