Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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