I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
