Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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