all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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