Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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