yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
