If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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