We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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