If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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