He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
