I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
