That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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