Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
