my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
