mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
