We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
