Why are handjobs necessary in class?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh god it's open bar.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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