pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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