But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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