Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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