No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
