I love black thongs
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
