champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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