Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
