There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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