paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
