i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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