Fine. I'll sleep in my office
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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