Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
