i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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