Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
