Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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