What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
