Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
