dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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