True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
