"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize