Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
